Last night I drank a bottle of vodka, and I took 12 60mg duloxetine and a few extra butter. I fell asleep. Sadly, I woke up. I felt off.. blurry vision, tremors. I went php. I debated talking to the nurse.
Then my therapist pulls me out to work on my treatment plan. But I couldn't walk. My entire body was shaking. She and another therapist helped me into a chair. The nurse came and got the details of what I took. They had me call my dad to come get me, but then they decided to call an ambulance. Everyone has been kind. Well my parents... my dad looked overwhelmed and my mom looked angry. I didn't expect them not to be angry. I just also expected some love and gratitude that I failed
I honestly had hoped the tremors would get better, and I could have gone home. Then I would have done it again. I am seriously considering refusing to go inpatient. Then I will a hotel room and a lot of vodka and pills
But for tonight, I am chilling in the ICU. Getting fluids and benzos (for the shaking)
I will update when there's more to say
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